Hi Mom!
I know it's weird to be writing this letter even though it's not your birthday. It's just that, while i was cleaning my stuff, I saw your letter for me (the one from my retreat which will be posted in this blog soon) three years ago, and so, I've decided to write back.
I want to start this by graciously thanking you. I want to thank you for keeping me in your tummy for 9 months, this is inclusive of all the cramps, tiredness and the added pounds, though i must say that you've been always sexier than me. Thank you for pooping me out of this amazing world. From the movies i saw, i'm guessing that you were in a great pain while delivering me and at some point you thought you were gonna die, still you chose to continue and remove me off your system (haha). Of course, we all know that that was just the initial phase. You cared for me and loved me endlessly. You taught me the basics, from tying my shoelaces to being proper in other peoples' houses. You are very protective and you would never let anyone harm me as much as you can. You are always in pain whenever you see me sad, hurt or broken. You loathe those instances where i chose the wrong decisions, yet you respected tose decisions, you stood by me and you helped me get back on track. You never treat us unequally though i know i am your favorite (teeeheee).You always know what is best for me and you try to give it to me as much as possible; and lastly, you'll give and give until there is nothing left for you anymore. Thank you so much mom!
Thank you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the heartaches, headaches and toothaches. I know that among the three of us, i am the most pain in your ass (figuratively). You might think that i don't listen often but I do, and let me tell you that whenever i do things on my own, i always weigh things down. If it was 100% up to me and other people weren't concerned, I'd get a tattoo, get my ears pierced as well and i'd eat all the chocolate cake in the world, but i can't because i love you. I don't want my decisions to affect you nor hear other people say that "ISA KANG PABAYA NA INA", because you aren't and i want it to show. I want them to know that you've done i great job, i just hope that i shows based on my actions. At times when we have different ideas, i want to tell you that i completely understand you and your reasons but i hope you try to understand mine as well. basically, mine is just 'I want to try this shit because i'm crazy curious.' that's all, and i'm willing to sacrifice my comfort for curiousness, so don't worry too much mother. I love you.
For me, you are the best mom I could ever have and i know my siblings agree with me. I solemnly swear, from start until now, that i never asked for another mother, though i must say that at some point in time, i wished you were a queen and i was a princess (hahahaha). You are such an amazing mom and it scares me a lot. People might perceive that i'm independent and all that crap but the truth is I rely on you too much and i'm scared of losing you. I'm even scared of just thinking about it. Sometimes i wished that God will take me first so that i would never experience losing you but knowing that you're gonna be in a great pain if i die first, well, i take it back.
I love you mom and no matter how far I am, I will listen. When you're sad and feeling lonely, never hesitate to contact me. Always remember that i might not text often but it doesn't mean that i don't miss you. I miss you everyday. We miss you everyday, even kuya who is always around. We are here and we are just waiting for you to tell a tale or two. I love you mom and i pray for your good health, peace of mind and happiness. God bless you mom. Take care.
i dedicate this song for you! :*
your loving daughter,
Charina Villanueva
