September 27, 2012

This is not a status update


Have you ever wonder if you like the person you are slowly becoming? Or now, do you like yourself now? Is this what you saw when you were a little girl imagining yourself as a teenager? 


I haven't, not until today.

     I don't know where these are all coming from but I don't like myself. I'm at a stage where I'm like a dry leaf floating wherever the wind is taking me. I have no goals, I don't know what I want to do in my life & I just let my fucked up 'destiny' make my next move. They say that this is normal for those people who are well off, people who least suffered from hunger or deprivation from material stuff, Well, fancy is it not? ugh! 

     What the hell do I want to do with my life? Has reality changed me and shattered even my wildest dreams? As of now, all I know is that I want to graduate soon and work.  What? I don't know. Where, i do not know either. In the end, I know that i'll end up working in my father's restaurant, but is that what I want? Have I accepted fact already that's why I'm left with no aspirations whatsoever? Will I be happy there and do I have the characteristics of a businessman? 

     I doubt myself, I doubt myself too much because I know myself. I know that i'm too lazy to work my butt off just to fulfill my dreams, but this can't be. I will not let laziness ruin my multi-neon-colored future. This week I shall write down my short term goals and long term goals with the following steps to achieve them. 

SO HELP ME GOD. 

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(c) Jo Villanueva