How I get the
Goods.
Why in the fuck world do I always get a guy?
Okay. It has
been 4 years (I think) since I got myself a boyfriend but I haven’t been living
like a single person much. I always have ka-MU (Mutual Understanding, Malanding
Uganayan, Maharot na Ugnayan, you know the drift) from time to time. It’s
obvious that I don’t have the sexy body, I’m also not a head turner beauty and
my level of IQ is average (well maybe a little bit above average? Since being a
UP student and all. Hahaha) So how in this sick world do I manage to hook a guy?
The truth of the
matter is that I look like I put out.
What do I mean
by that?
Well, if you’ve
notice, I’ve only been MU-ing with Manila guys, because they are such dickheads
(Sorry for my past ka-MUhan). They waste the time of the day on me because they
think they’ll get the goods. Wowza. Helluvah. No freakin way. But I know this
fact though and I use it to my advantage.
I will not deny
the fact that I also do stuff that makes them think that I’ll have sex with
them. Green jokes, cleavage-showing shirts, doing more than kissing
shinnanigans, I’ve done them all and whenever I realize that I got their
attention, I do a little happy dance.
Of course I love
the attention, Of course I am happy. It’s like a quest you must accomplish. It makes me feel pretty.
I know that you,
dear reader, wants to shake me and say,
“What the hell
is wrong with you?”
” Can’t you live
without a guy in your life?”
“Are you that
insecure?”
“Harlot!”
“Whore!”
“Puta!”
I know I know. It’s
just that, I feel so lonely sometimes and friends can’t give the same
satisfaction a guy gives. The attention, the care, the flirty text messages.
Well, whenever I succeed on these quests, I actually gain karma instantly
because I don’t get to spend time with them 6 days a week, and sometimes I
don’t see them for the whole week at all! All we do is text all the time and I
rarely get a proper date.
Want to know
what’s worse? It’s the face that when the guy realizes that I will never have
sex with him, he’ll break up with me or at least he’ll show me how
disinterested he is with me until I’m the one who’ll break it up. He’ll make no
objections whatsoever. It still hurts you know. Even when I know that I lure
them in some false fantasies, I still hope that they’ll learn to love me
instead of the lust they are feeling.
The last one I
had an MU relationship with, he told me in the face what a fucking tease I was
and he even accused me of cheating! The nerve! That was the time I stopped. I
realize that I was fooling myself and I stopped doing all that because I felt
like a lesser person than what I really am.
That’s the
reason why I changed my number numerous times.
That’s the
reason why I became less clingy.
The endless
texting-relationship made me hate texting.
It made me hate being contacted through cellular phones.
It made me love
personal dates and meet-ups
.
It made me
realize that If I’m really an important person to you, you’ll fucking impose a
date to see me, whether you’re a friend, a loved one or whatnot.
So MAYBE that’s the
reason I don’t text much.
And no one
fucking knows this, until you.
