Last May, I thought he was, but
he turned out to be otherwise.
I’ve know Mr.
Asdfgh since fourth year high school. I met him during my cousin’s debut. He
was the brother and the chaperone of a friend of the debutante. Knowing that we
were on the same year level, she asked me to accompany him for this event so
that he won’t get bored or anything like that.
It was awkward
at first but he was easy to talk to. He talks a lot, actually. He was the one
who entertained me, not the other way around. He was funny and yes,
handsome. But there was no way that we
would be together, you know, like boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing. I was
committed that time and he was courting someone as well. We were just friends.
We never tried
contacting each other after that night. It was like, I completely forgot him.
I’m pretty sure he felt the same way too. Then facebook era came. He was one of
those random people you suddenly remember because you’ve got no one left to
stalk to and you are just so freaking bored. I added him up, he accepted my
friend request but we didn’t interact immediately, until one random day, he
asked for my number and invited me to watch one of his games. Soccer.
Unfortunately, I was busy that time so I declined.
Systemone summer
enlistment came and he surprisingly called me and asked if we could hang out.
Since I was just a walk away from his school I said yes. We ate out and he paid
for everything! The weird thing was that, it felt like we’ve been friends
forever because there were only a few awkward moments, I was comfortable with
him. We went out a couple more times, but he neither texts nor calls unless
he’s gonna invite me out and it aggravated me!
There was one
time when he didn’t bother contacting me and when I finally accepted the fact
that it wouldn’t work out because he is not that interested, he called and
asked me to go out and drink coffee with him. I am not a coffee lover but I
said yes.
The whole set-up
was frustrating. What is our status? Are we just friends? Do we have a chance
to be together? Because honestly, that time, I was seriously looking for a
boyfriend. I know that it’s pathetic; I know that it’s sad, but I’m a girl
looking for a chick-flick kind of love story and so I ended it.
He wanted a
hang-out buddy, I wanted a boyfriend. It wouldn’t work out. If I gave in to his
request, I know that my heart will get broken again because I’ll eventually
fall for him. If he gave in to my request, it wouldn’t work out either. He
wasn’t fully prepared of the idea of having a girlfriend. He just wanted a
company. I’m thankful enough that he didn’t lead me on. He even asked if we can
just stay as we are (friends) and enjoy each other’s company which I refused
because, yun nga, masasaktan lang ako
kasi magkakagusto ako sa kanya kahit na pigilan ko pa.
I know that it’s
my fault. Falling for a guy is easy breezy for me, maybe because I’m too
willing to do anything to get a boyfriend. I
can imagine your forehead cringing. I’m stressed out too. Sadly, this is
who I am. I have fully accepted that ‘kalandian’
fiasco. I know that all these happenings will help me be more mature with the thought
of being in a relationship. Right now, I wish to focus on something realistic,
like my academics and my organization. If I manage my time right, there would
be no time for love-smuck stuff.
So love, hope you can wait.
sincerely yours,
Jo Villanueva
_____________________________________________________________________________
(c) Jo Villanueva
