You know why I hate you calling
my cellular phone?
It’s because I
know I have no power against you. I know that IF I hear your voice, my knees
will go jelly again. I still want you, you know? It will remain for some time,
but I plan to move on soon. I hate this uncomfortable feeling of longing. I
don’t want to want you anymore, you know? It sucks wanting you and not having
you at the same time, I’m selfish, okay?
You know what’s
funny? I was this girl playing hard to get and no, you did not get me as I to
you, and here and now, I’d like to believe that we are both hurting, well, I AM
HURTING. Karma’s a bitch, is it not? So damn funny. Honestly though, I won’t
change a thing. I still can’t trust you, and I’ll never be able to trust you,
and you know why. We will be anything but stable, and stability is what I’m
looking for. I want long term commitment, hell, I want forever, you are not
that guy, and let me tell you, you don’t want to be that guy. You never wanted
monthsaries, anniversary presents or whatever, remember?
I am BITTER. I am bitter with the
fact that you’re actually treating your girlfriend like a girlfriend. Which, I
suppose, she deserves.
Anyway, I can’t
help but think that that could have been me; you being committed to me like you
with her, only I didn’t took the risk. So yeah, I’m jealous and I’m bitter.
This being said, I don’t want you to assume anything. You might be reading
this, we just don’t know, so let me be clear here, ok?
I like you,
yeah, but there’s no future for us
anymore. I’ve accepted it. Maybe not a hundred percent, so please, help me
on that one. Be an ass. Make-out with your girlfriend and post it on ask.fm.
SPEAKING OF
ASK.FM, will you please stop being so dilly-dally? Don’t give safe answers.
Don’t choose both of us, I’ve already been hurt enough, and a little more pain
would actually help me move on from you. Stick with your girlfriend. She might
be good for you. She has suffered enough too, it’s time you focus on something
real, something yours; because I’m not yours anymore, Xy.
I like that. Let me say it again.
I am not yours anymore, Xyriel.
Let go.
